Christina’s Path to SELFGnosis™
The last 6 years of my life became a disgusting lie. I suffered most because I felt deceived. Ultimately, in early July I perceived that I had lost my future, my dreams of a happy family and all stability. I spiraled downward. I had trouble with every task imaginable. I had trouble getting out of bed, dressing myself, driving my son to school. I sat on my sofa and concentrated on willing my heart to stop beating or my lungs to collapse; I focused energy to my brain, hoping to burst a blood vessel. Obviously, my self sabotage wasn’t successful; I am still alive. One hot August evening I sat on my porch, weak and thin from skipping meals, puffy from missing sleep and smelly from avoiding showers; I looked at the night sky and gave up. I told the universe I wouldn’t move one more step forward, not even to go in my front door. I was utterly defeated and completely broken. Then, unexpectedly a wave of peace passed through me. Because I was so destroyed, I could listen to my soul without interference or prejudice. I could let go of the false idea that, “I had it all figured out.” My soul told me that my essence is infinite, indestructible and trapped in some very painful patterns. I understood in that moment that the key to changing the self-defeating patterns was to uncover and remove them at their source. 
